The Presence of God

Prayer is not a request for God’s favors. True, it has been used to obtain the satisfaction of personal desires. … But genuine prayer is based on recognizing the Origin of all that exists and opening ourselves to it. … In prayer we acknowledge God as the supreme source from which flows all strength, all goodness, all existence, acknowledging that we have our being, life itself from this supreme Power. One can then communicate with this Source, worship it, and ultimately place one’s very center in it. ~Piero Ferrucci, Ineffable Grace (p. 254) as quoted in Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening by Cynthia Bourgeault (p. 3)

In these days counting down to the most challenging physical experience so far in my life, I have felt a desperate need to reconnect with what I’ve known to be true, believed to be true. I love the analogy that God’s presence is like the air we breathe; we are immersed in it yet we are not aware of the fact it is in us and around us all the time. The presence of God penetrates us, is all around us, is always embracing us. Oh how I long to live these present days awake to the presence of God!

So I have been re-reading books about contemplative prayer which is defined as “simply a wordless, trusting opening of self to the divine presence.” (Cynthia Bourgeault, Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening p. 5) The best practice to open oneself to divine presence is Centering Prayer. I was first introduced to this 20 years ago at a church women’s retreat that offered a workshop about Centering Prayer. Over the years, I have lived through seasons of regular practice. The last several years not so much. 

Thomas Keating’s book Open Mind, Open Heart, The Contemplative Dimension of the Gospel has been on my bookshelf for probably 15 years. The pages are dog eared from use. It called my name in my hour of desperation to reconnect with practice that I know will open my eyes again to God’s loving presence in my hour of need. Keating explains that our intention is what matters as we sit quietly for 20 minutes in silence, acknowledging the thoughts that never stop yet resisting the urge to focus on any one thought. 

Keating writes, “…the Spirit heals the wounds of our fragile human nature at a level beyond our psychological perception, just as a person who is anesthetized has no idea of how the operation is going until after it is over.” Now that picture resonates for me right now!

My prayer is that next Wednesday morning God will grant me the ability to let go of the fear I have about the surgery and waking up to my new reality. I have no power or control over what I am forced to go through except to let go, surrender to it and stay present to God’s Presence.