Evidence of Acceptance

It feels like optimistic progress. No more Aquaphor. No more ABD pads taped to my skin covering my disfigured right chest. A deeper acceptance seems to be developing as I now look at and touch the edges left by the scalpel; look at and touch the reddish purple shiny skin graft that a 5" x 9" ABD pad just barely covers. "It's looking very good," Dr. Fairweather said at my 3-month follow-up appointment yesterday. It is. I know it is.

There is a sense within me of optimistic progress emotionally too. Perhaps my grief journey is transitioning to acceptance. It doesn't escape me that this is answered prayer; my prayers, and the prayers of others as they ask how they can pray for me. "The physical healing is good but emotionally, well, not so much. Please pray that I will be able to embrace and accept what is physically healing," I say each time.

At the Dana Farber there is a boutique catering to women in need of wigs, compression garments, and breast prostheses--it is called Friend's Place. Reading through the benefits of having a breast prosthesis is educational. Who would have thought a well-fitted breast prosthesis helps prevent muscle-skeletal issues. Without one, problems can develop like back, shoulder and neck discomfort from the body not being properly aligned. It will protect the surgical site and provide warmth. Once Dr. Agarwal writes a prescription, I can get an appointment to be fitted and then it takes 6-8 weeks to complete the process. It's good news to read that Medicare covers the cost of special bras and prostheses since it is considered medically necessary.

My immediate inclination is to send a message to Dr. Agarwal, ask for the prescription, and make an appointment. But he told me no prosthesis for six months. It's too early to start the process with Friend's Place. Luckily it's still early spring. Layering with a lightweight jacket helps hide the deflated look of my right chest. 

Surprisingly there is a website that comes up from searching for breast inserts. There are pictures of what they describe as "a lightweight alternative to your breast prosthesis." Perhaps this will be an option until Dr. Agarwal writes that prescription. For $12, it's a no brainer. Turns out the largest size does not match my left breast but a couple of ABD pads under it works well enough for the occasional trip to the store for sure. 

Every optimistic step is evidence of acceptance. My heart overflows with gratitude.